Ch.12 #3

The concept I wanted to talk about from the chapter, is blaming. I really feel that blaming is such a huge part of conflict, and more so in a negative light. I think that people tend to shed blame on others and it leads to confrontation. As is says in the book, blaming is, "saying someone is at fault", now I really feel that people tend to blame other in a instant, to possibly relieve what is going on with them, and make them feel better. For more cases there is no justification for a blame, and its more so just a thought or assumption. I want to talk about the time, that I basically threw away a football game single handedly by myself, when playing in high school, I fumble 6 times, and ran for only about 25 yards, keep in mind, in my 3 previous years of high school football, I only fumbled three times, and averaged about 95 yards rushing per game. I went into the locker room at half time and was basically blaming my offensive line for not blocking and other players for not doing their job. This was in hopes to make me feel better about the terrible game I was playing, and essentially I used it as a pick me up, and it never helped. I really felt bad about this and took my teammates out for dinner, and publicly apologized to them. That was me over using blame.

Ch.10 #1

The sites I found for these words, first and foremost was wikipedia. As for forgiveness and reconciliation, both results produced bible sites, basically talking about what the word means to the uses of basically finding positive results. Revenge pretty much, all came up with tv show information stuff. I think that the term reconciliation and forgiveness produced more results, because they are in a positive light, what I mean by that is that people want to talk about the good part of confrontation which is the end result, revenge on the other hand is a dark light that society doesnt want to be seen or heard, I noticed in my search at the bottom a suggested result was revenge ideas. I found this to be really interesting because it shows that thoughts of revenge is shared and people look at those things. I found all of these searches to very interesting, and weird all at the same time.

Ch.12 #2

The one time I recall making in a sense a "false attribution" was with my ex girlfriend, and basically she was inplating lies in my head. She was making me believe that my friends were talking about me behind my back, and trying to turn me against them in her favor. It was a very bad situation because I chose to believe her and basically I came to them in the wrong was and pretty much called them out on it. I was so blind to what I was hearing that I missed the truth. It lead to a pretty big fall out between me and a few of my closest friends, and later make me really question myself and the people around me. I should have went to them first to clean up any confusion that I had, but I didnt. Later on though we sat and talked about it to relieve the problem and now things are back to normal, it for sure was a learning experience. There have been times where I have made accurate attributions about some people and it helped me in many ways because it allowed for me to distance myself from fake people. But with that said its a risk some times that you have to take, because it can go negative or in a positive way.

Ch.9 #3

The one concept that I wanted to talk about was apologies. The thought behind the term itself I feel is really thrown around without worth. I feel that people make apologies to maybe get over the hump of one thing or another. But after reading this chapter it allowed me to understand the importance of the term and how it can and should be used. The one thing that really gravitated towards me, was in the book where it states, "....as the actor's responsibility for the offense increases." And what this does is basically tells me how the person that causes the this problem, really realizes that they are in the wrong and need to take steps to fix that problem. In one instance I remember at time where I made my mother really upset and I didnt really realize the severity of what I was causing. After evaluating what was happening and seeing what I was causing and being that offender I took the time to actually propose a sincere apology to my mother, and I think that the importance or that apology was me being able to tell my mother exactly what I did wrong, so that she knew I was serious.

Ch.10 #2

For the most part I am a very forgiving person that isnt one to hold grudges or be angry at one person for a long time. When I was in high school, I was cheated on by a girlfriend of mine, not once, but twice. This particular event in my life I found really hard to forgive. What makes this type of thing so very hard is the fact that, she did it again after being given a second chance. With that being said, it also was something that was hard to forgive because our families were very close to each other. I think that this particular instant was very hard to forgive for me, because not only was I heartbroken but I feel that my trust was broken as well. Its very hard to realize this happening when you have a great relationship with a person that isnt just as a boyfriend girlfriend type, we were very good friends as well, so I thought. With that being said, I am very glad it happened at a young age, because it allowed me to learn from it and become a much stronger person.

Ch.9 #1

After taking a class with you last semester about media, and it really made me switch up the way that I posted things and how I allowed myself to be portrayed. I really feel that now I present myself very well, too many times last when I did this review of my page, I left way to much out there showing to much of my personal life that would allow people to judge. I think that now people have a good impression of me, and know that I love sports and going to the gym because of my check-in's. I always have positive status's so people will know im pretty positive. In the past there have been things I wish I never posted, and looking back it was just me being immature and short fused, and mostly had to do with girls. I think this relates to conflict and communication in many ways, and those ways I would have to see is I learned that at one point I tried to convey messages through facebook towards people. And in turn people would get mad because I wouldnt directly come to them, I learned that social networks can be an outlet, but there also needs to be a face to face communication in many cases to avoid conflict.