Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Stopping conflict Ch. 4
For me personally I feel that I do really well with stopping conflict. I think that the key thing that most of us fail to do is, have patience. I say that easily because for myself I am a very patient person that can take a lot before blowing up. I feel that in order to stop a conflict you can go one of two routes, the first would be basically to cave in and just give up on your end to stop the bleeding. The second is not make a person feel like you are coming down on them while speaking to them about whatever the conflict is causing. Much of my life ive learned to live by the term, pick and chose your battles. I think this holds a lot of value because there are people that love to constantly be at war, and of course there is going to be times where you need to stand up and fight against something if you feel wrong. But other times you really need to evaluate a situation before jumping in. I felt that through my child hood growing up with two older sisters (as I always refer to with conflict) you learn to know that pretty much, your always wrong and you have to deal with it. I learned when a conflict arose to just walk away, and when to stand up and plead my case. I think its done a lot for me, because in life there is always going to be someone that always thinks they are right and want to cause conflicts, but not this guy.
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I have a sister like that too (thank goodness I only have one). I, unfortunately, was a bit slower than you to figure out the whole “picking the battles” concept. In fact, I went from “caving in” to being a downright war monger for years. After the major pendulum swing, I am now trying to find that somewhere in the middle. It is still almost impossible with my older sister though. As you put it, “I am always wrong.” But I do at times have to stand up and state my case and I have simply reached the point that if I have done everything that I know to do to be fair and clear, then she has to own her response. I hope you have been able to get there with your sisters too.
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